Where Ever You Are, Be There

Well, A lot happened this week. It all started with me feeling crappy about myself and that I am so frustrated with how I keep making the same mistakes over and over and never learn. We received a homework assignment from the mission president with the three scriptures D&C 50: 40-44 and D&C 64:33-34 and 2 Nephi 28:30 on Wednesday. We were supposed to read and study these scriptures specifically but also others we might find about the atonement. It seems like (and I know really is) the Lord has an active hand in my life and other peoples lives. Every thing this week was timed right and was just what I needed. It started with letters from all you in email form and in letters. So I read these scriptures and studied and learned a little bit but not much. Then I forgot about them. Thursday we had leaders meeting and so I was able to have some time to myself while Khang was in the meeting to do what I wanted. So I decided to write Nate and Sister Anderson. I wrote a lot of things that I didn't know where inside me, so basically writing down my feelings was the key. That Night we visited with Umur, possibly one of the coolest people I’ve met on my mission. He read the whole book of Mormon before he was baptized just a few months ago. He is really smart. We talked with him about how there are many problems in our society right now and they all come back to our moral standards. Even secular studies done by Ivy League schools and others have mentioned this in their thesis. He told us how the physiology of the human mind is literally changing. We are becoming more efficient. We can process data faster and better. However, we are losing our ability to communicate and we are losing our emotion. The study done by Stanford I think it was said that if we keep going in this direction eventually we will not be able to tell the difference between AI and human intelligence! THAT IS SCARY! I do not want my children to walk around in their own comfortable world where all they do is read email and text and listen to cookie cutter music and then when they grow up they get married to a computer, have no children and never learn to love. NO WAY! If any of you have ever talked to Im AIs (= instant messenger Artificial intelligences) you'll know how stupid they are. That’s what we are becoming! If you don't know, try talking to one, or read my conversations I saved talking to "magic 8 ball". Wow. So then we read D&C verses and then he took us out to Olive Garden where we talked about many things but among them was career choices and again communicating with others (He is in charge of managing web sites like Block Buster and Target, it takes a ton of work. he gets 300 emails a day!).

Ok, so I’ve got that floating in my head now at this point, then the next day is Zone Conference. It was focused on the atonement, we did it in the relief society room so it was.... very intimate (70 of us). I took a lot of notes and listened to a lot of testimonies. Elder Khang and I did a duet musical number (I on the recorder he on the ocarina). I'll tell you when you learn by the spirit you really learn it and you learn it way faster than you can learn things on your own. Remember, the spirit can bring all things to our remembrance. Well basically I learned what I've been told all a long. That I just need to give up, and hand my life over to Jesus Christ. I've gotta stop trying to do things myself and just let the Lord carry me. We can't trust in the arm of flesh, because it will fail us every time! We really truly are powerless without the Lord. Here is a good example. You are trying to run a marathon but you have muscular dystrophy and a prosthetic leg and scoliosis. There is a huge strong muscular, fit, fast guy right next to you and he says to you "Let me pick you up and I will run to the finish line with you!". That’s the Lord. Basically, that would really hurt your pride if you honestly feel like you can cross the finish line on your own (even if you can't), and someone picks you up and runs to the end with you in his arms. But let me tell you something.... actually let Paul tell you something "when I am weak, then am I strong". The Lord already paid for ALL of YOUR cares. Just forget your pride and let him pick you up! That’s what I've told myself and so my prayers have changed. i used to pray something like "Please give me the strength so that I can do [this or that]" but now all I want is to say "Heavenly Father help my pride as I allow the Savior to take me up and run. Help me give my cares to Thy Son." If we are willing to just give in and do what He asks us to do, we will be strong in him. We with him will be able to accomplish anything; if only I could have realized that when Kitty said to me at my setting apart "trust in the Lord", 4 simple words that say "Believe that Christ really is strong enough to even relieve me of my sin and personal failing and sickness etc." I know that we will be happier here on earth as we do that. I know that our joy will be full in the life to come as we do that.

So, as if that wasn't enough. I learned more. I thought of how I will and do affect others. If I want my family and my future family to operate by love and to do what’s right I've got to love everyone else unconditionally. We had stake conference, Saturday night and Sunday. I took notes like a stenographer! WOW, let me write a few things I learned. Keep in mind I’ve been wanting answers about how to prepare for raising children. (BTW, I also relearned that we must plan for the future, but not live in it, we need to enjoy the journey. So I’ve been reminding myself everyday to live in the moment, be a part of where I am, but not forget to plan for "tomorrow")

Anyway I've only got 15 min, I’ve been writing a long time and haven't even read all your emails yet. But here is the main point of the conference. DON'T WEAR EACH OTHER DOWN! When you use anger or disappointment or frustration as a constant tool to instruct your children and those around you, you ware them away! You are like a wave taking the sand away from the beach, eventually there will be NO SAND! Disappointment is powerful, but should only be used briefly! Remember unconditional love is a choice! After you have taken your opportunity to teach go right back to loving and supporting. Also, Teenagers might seem like they are rebelling, but they aren't! (Unless you are being too hard then they might be), anyway, its totally natural, because we are here on this planet to learn. We teach correct principals and let others dictate themselves. We have to learn for ourselves how to live and be self sufficient. We need to know how to make decisions on our own! If we continue to do what the Lord has asked us, and pray for and love our children and siblings and those around us, the Lord has promised to send them tender mercies and eventually they will make the right choices and they will have strong testimonies! Any way.... I know these things are true because it’s what the Lord teaches us and there are examples all over the scriptures. Just look at Lehi! He is an excellent example of a parent. OK. Ha-ha.

Well, I’ll get back on for another session to reply to all your emails! Ok. Peace out! I love you all!
Elder Sam